Have you ever found yourself looking at coffins for sale and then start to get a bit sleepy? Worry not my vampiric friend for there is more to life than just the succulent taste of warm, living human blood; and what I do mean is a good night’s sleep! …or good day’s sleep for that matter… Whatever the case, this creepy as hell Nicodemus coffin bed will lull any eternal undead to a peaceful slumber, all while creeping the shit out of your flatmates.
Now if you want to become a vampire, vampire history will tell you straight out that it’s probably not a great idea. I mean, it looks awesome when you’re hanging out with eternal Brad Pitt and eternal Tom Cruise… well, maybe not Tom… but let’s be honest. Sleeping in a real-life coffin is probably the next best thing! So, quit wasting time and check out this wonderful addition to your bedroom by clicking the link below and live gothic today!
UPDATE: LOL I just gotta let you guys in on this… I can’t believe how many people have reviewed this thing on Amazon! There are over 58 coffin bed user reviews. 58! I almost fell over reading some of these too…
5 out of 5 stars “Super Great!”
“I have been a vampire for 30 years and have had trouble finding something comfortable and practical to sleep in. As soon as I saw this I ordered it and it has completely changed my life. It is amazing and it is also very good for luring children with an interest for vampires over and they make a good snack.”
and look at this one…
1 out of 5 start “Oh yeah, it looks good and all…”
“…but you can’t find coffin sheets ANYWHERE, not flat, not fitted, and forget about bed in a bag. Unless you own your own sewing machine and are committed to making your own sheets, give this one a pass.”
These are literally only some of the few coffin bed reviews on the top of the page, it’s hilarious reading through them all! This one is one of my favorites…
5 out of 5 stars “Timesaving”
“My family are busy people and I don’t want them inconvenienced by my death. When I ‘peacefully pass away in my sleep’, all they have to do is close the lid, carry me out to the pre-dug hole I have in the backyard and voilà! I’ll be in the ground before the rigor mortis sets in.They then have the rest of the day to go to the movies or rifle through my possessions. Thanks Casket Furniture!”
This coffin bed will make even some of your saddest moments super efficient! Buy a brand new coffin bed today!