Sh*t got REAL.

my gothic break up

My apologies to all my lovely Goths out there… as you’ve probably noticed my last post was AGES ago.

Why, you may ask? Well, it seems that SOME people are under the impression that some of my previous posts may have been a tad too harsh on my “precious GIFT” of a mother-in-law! Precious, indeed! She’s about as precious as a swift kick in the crotch!

Whatever the case, shit got REAL and I had to lay low for a bit.

Seriously though, WHATEVS! I decided to frickin’ take my life into my own hands and SPLIT! BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!

No more stupid trips to the store for feminine products, no more Thursday night badminton matches with Susan and all her stuck up lawyer friends—that’s right, NO MORE DUMB BS! I’m a free Goth again and frankly, I couldn’t be happier!

Sans the fact that YOU DIDN’T EVEN LET ME TAKE ANY OF MY CLOTHES, I’ll be just fine out on my own. Thank the Dark Lord for my old bandmate, Ralph, who has been gracious enough to let me crash here in his bachelor pad while I get back on my feet. Sure, it may be a change of pace at 37 years young, but I must say that the view from Ralph’s couch ain’t half-bad!

But let me be real clear about this: ANYTHING is better than staying in an ANTI-GOTH household that has no respect for my dark-hearted ways!!! GOTH4LYF!

Wow. That felt GREAT. Anyways, I hope it’s clear that you can expect to see more awesome Gothic posts on the horizon. Leave your lousy marriage and live Gothic today!